


Something Elemental (The What's That Smell? Remix)

by professor



Category: X-Men: Days of Future Past (2014) - Fandom, X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Disabled Character, Comments from the peanut gallery, Crack, M/M, Mpreg, Remix
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-04
Updated: 2014-08-04
Packaged: 2018-02-11 16:25:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2074950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/professor/pseuds/professor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erik used to love smelling Charles' cologne. Now he hates it. There's a reason for that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Something Elemental (The What's That Smell? Remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [firstlightofeos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/firstlightofeos/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Something Elemental](https://archiveofourown.org/works/544486) by [firstlightofeos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/firstlightofeos/pseuds/firstlightofeos). 



> I hope you like this, recipient. I feel like this is the least anon Remix ever, so if you have a guess who wrote this for you, you're probably correct. 
> 
> Thanks to the two people who cheerleaded me, and the one person I ran this idea by and also who beta'd the fic.

Erik buries his face in Charles’ neck and takes a long, deep sniff.

“Ugh!” says Erik, pulling back, his nose wrinkling with distaste. “What’s that _smell_?”

Charles is, admittedly, a bit stung. Not only is he wearing his old cologne, from when they’d lived together in the mansion the _first_ time, but he’d had to special order it from Europe because they were no longer selling it in the States. Because he thought Erik had _loved_ it. Certainly Erik had been vocal enough about it at the time.

"It's the same cologne I've always worn, Erik," Charles snaps. "Maybe you just don't remember what it smells like, since it's been so long."

Later, Charles will be embarrassed that their first real fight after Erik has come back to live in the mansion after the stadium incident is not, in fact, about mutant politics, but about Charles' cologne. 

But right now they scream at each other until Erik storms out, slamming doors all over the mansion in a huff.

(Erik doesn't leave then, though Charles expects/fears he will.)

*

That’s how it starts, anyway -- with Charles' cologne.

Well, maybe not. Erik had been grumpier the past few weeks, more irritable and on edge than Charles has ever seen him, and Charles is including all the times Erik has gone full-out Magneto when he says that. 

But the incident with the cologne is the first marker that maybe something is a bit _off_ about Erik. (More than usual.)

*

The next instance is when Charles wakes up before his alarm and hears Erik vomiting in the bathroom. 

_Are you all right?_ asks Charles, keeping his touch light and gentle.

 _Must have been something I ate,_ says Erik, and Charles is so happy that Erik chose to respond telepathically that he allows himself to get distracted.

But then Erik throws up the next morning, and the next, and the next.

*

“You can go see a human doctor, or you can let Hank look at you,” says Charles mulishly. “I’m not letting this go.” 

Erik glares at him, and threatens, and yells, but in the end, he agrees to let Hank take a look at him.

*

“What,” says Erik flatly. 

Charles pinches the bridge of his nose. “Hank, if this is some kind of joke, it’s in poor taste.”

Hank smiles wryly. “I ran the tests five times to be certain. If anyone’s playing a joke, it’s not me.”

Without another word, Erik storms off, slamming the lab door shut behind him.

Charles sighs heavily.

“I can order in some ultrasound equipment,” offers Hank. “It would help monitor .. well, it would help with monitoring, anyway.”

Charles sighs again, and authorizes the purchase.

*

“So, word on the street is that you’re knocked up,” says Pietro. “Some freaky secondary mutation thing.”

Erik gapes at him in horror, and Charles sighs _again_. (He’s been doing that a lot lately.)

“Pietro, we’ve talked about your bad habit of eavesdropping,” admonishes Charles.

“Sorry,” says Pietro, not sounding sorry at all. “Do you know what it’s going to be yet? I wouldn’t mind another sister. Though a brother would be cool, too.”

Erik and Charles both turn to look at Pietro very slowly. “Sister?” croaks Erik. “You have a sister?”

“Sure,” shrugs Pietro carelessly. “My little sister is six. Cute as a button.”

Both Charles and Erik relax. Six years old -- she couldn’t possibly -- 

“Oh, and there’s my twin, Wanda,” Pietro says. 

Both men freeze in shock.

“Sorry, did I not mention her before?” asks Pietro.

*

Wanda Maximoff turns out to be lovely girl at school at Berkeley in California. She doesn’t object to Charles sending his private jet out to bring her to the mansion for a weekend, for which Charles is very, very grateful.

The gratitude stops, however, the moment Wanda opens her mouth. “So you’re the asshole who stuck his dick in Mom,” she says, taking a drag of her cigarette, and blowing it vaguely in Erik’s direction.

“That’s a filthy habit,” Erik glares at her. 

“Ask me if I care,” she says, taking another drag off her cigarette.

“Smoke isn’t good for the baby,” says Pietro, snatching the cigarette from Wanda’s fingers and putting it out.

Everyone looks at him.

“What?” asks Pietro. “I know stuff.”

“He’s also been asking me about it for the past week,” says Hank, and Pietro shoots him a dirty look. 

*

By the time Hank receives the ultrasound equipment, and gets it set up, two more weeks have passed, and Wanda is at the mansion for another weekend visit. Which means the word has had time to spread, and there are way too many people crammed in Hank’s lab for comfort.

“Charles,” asks Erik, “why are the twins here?”

“Because we have a right to see our little baby brother or sister, don’t you think?” says Wanda.

“Yeah, we’re going to be the best big siblings ever,” says Pietro. “We already have practice at it.”

“Then why is Raven here?” Erik demands.

“You’re kidding, right?” asks Raven (who had arrived two days ago). “That’s Charles’ kid in there, too. We may have our differences but I want to meet my little niece or nephew.”

“Then why is _he_ here?!” Erik demands, pointing at the man in the corner. 

“I came with Raven,” says Logan calmly.

Hank, meanwhile, has been spreading gel on Erik’s abdomen and using the wand to look for the embryo. “Ah, yes, there we are,” says Hank, nodding to the screen.

Everyone stares. 

“Oh god,” says Erik. “That’s a _baby_. Inside _me_.”

Charles is likewise speechless. This hadn’t seemed _real_ , and now there’s a little baby up on the screen for them to see. His and Erik’s _baby_. Oh god.

“Dibs on being the godfather,” says Pietro.

“You can’t be the godfather, you’re already his brother,” Logan objects, and why does Logan care?

Raven and Wanda start glaring at each other in some battle of wills, as if they can convince the other to back down from being the _godmother_.

“Do Jewish babies have godparents?” asks Hank. “I thought that was a Christian thing.”

“Why would the baby be Jewish?” asks Wanda. “Pietro and I aren’t.”

“Yes, but that's because your mother raised you, and Jewish descent comes through the mother," says Hank. "Since Erik is _carrying_ this baby, I thought naturally --” says Hank, and Charles stops him from saying any more with his telepathy.

As it is, he barely manages to get Erik out of the room without Erik murdering anyone.

*

"Get out," says Erik when Pietro, Wanda, Raven and Hank corner them in the study, intent on throwing them a baby shower.

They ignore him and continue setting out food and putting up decorations, Erik grumbling the whole time, naturally.

"What's this?" Erik asks a bit later, holding up an oddly shaped bundle of cloth in his old eye-searing Magneto colors that he's just unwrapped.

"It's a combination cape/baby sling," says Pietro, draping it around Erik to demonstrate.

(For years afterwards, Erik denies crying, and threatens to murder anyone who contradicts him.)

*

Despite Erik’s very vocal protests, almost the same group of people who witnessed the ultrasound are crammed into the delivery room several months later, waiting for the first (known) male mutant birth and the first Xavier-Lehnsherr spawn to enter the world.

With a few extras, this time.

“Why is _he_ here?” Erik growls, pointing at Darwin.

“Why are any of us here?” asks Darwin (who has become even more mellow after reconstituting himself and coming back to the school a few months ago.)

Alex frowns. “I thought you said you wanted to come watch because it might be relevant to you in the future, with your mutation.”

Everyone turns to look at Darwin, who shrugs. 

“Don’t judge,” Darwin says. “That’s not even half as weird as the shit that normally goes down at this school."

Wanda leans over and murmurs something in her brother’s ear. Pietro shrieks and disappears.

Everyone looks at Wanda.

“I just pointed out to him that it could be genetic,” says Wanda with a beatific smile. “And won’t his wife be lucky?”

*

Finally, after way too much pain, blood, and unsolicited commentary from everyone in the damn room, the baby is delivered and Charles and Erik are alone with their newborn.

“Birth control,” Erik mutters. “Hank’s got to figure out some kind of birth control. I’m _not_ doing this again.”

Charles wraps his arm around Erik’s shoulder and pets him and reassures him that Hank will think of something.

Erik leans his face into Charles’ neck and inhales deeply, then pulls away and looks at Charles with a faintly betrayed look.

“What is it?” Charles asks.

“You stopped wearing your cologne,” says Erik, accusing. “I _like_ that cologne.”

And so, Charles and Erik’s first fight in front of their minutes-old baby, is not, once again, about mutant politics, but about Charles’ cologne.

Unbelievable.

**Author's Note:**

> \- I deliberately left the identity of the baby, and of Pietro's little sister, vague, so readers can decided who they want those kids to be.
> 
> \- My version of Wanda Maximoff is apparently related to Discworld's Adora Belle Dearheart


End file.
